Sometime when you’re having a tough, challenging day as a leader, take a few minutes and consider David’s leadership training program.

He wasn’t man’s first choice for king. 
In fact, seven other men were considered for the position before him. God had to instruct Samuel that He looks upon the heart, not the outward appearance, to convince him that David was the right choice. After he was anointed for his leadership position, he returned to his regular job with no apparent recognition of his new role. His first ministry role was to serve the very king he was anointed to replace. He served him faithfully and maintained respect for him even when he was totally incompetent as a leader. David was then appointed to lead all the men of war. He was faithful in this position and gained great favor with the people. He seemed to be moving up the career ladder.

He was demoted.
Then one day some women sang a song that irritated the king so David was demoted from leading all the men of war to leading only 1,000. For a man anointed for leadership, he sure seemed to be heading in the wrong direction. Following this he was promised the king’s daughter in marriage but to prevent it from happening, the king sent him into battle hoping he would be killed. When this little plan fell through, he personally tried to kill him and so David had to run for his life. Next, to preserve his life, David feigned insanity, rolled around, scratching and drooling. Anyone watching that little episode, probably had some definite doubt that he was God’s chosen one. From there David escaped into caves and really began to demonstrate his leadership qualities. Everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented joined up with him there. He became captain over four hundred people that no one else wanted.

In the eyes of man, David was failing miserably.
After that, life was just one big adventure for David and his band of merry men. While he was off fighting battles, he lost his entire family and all the families of those he was leading. His men were so angry with him they wanted to stone him and all this time the king was still trying to kill him. One thing, in his favor, though, the number of those he was leading increased from four hundred to six hundred. (Unfortunately, two hundred of them were too exhausted to cross a little brook, but the numbers looked good.) In the eyes of man, David seemed to be failing miserably as the one anointed to be king. Throughout all the chaos and turmoil of his life, though, one thing remained constant. David was a man after God’s own heart. His primary goal was to develop his relationship with the Lord. Scripture tells us that he believed wisely in all his ways and the Lord was with him.

He wasn’t perfect.
He was not a perfect man-he sinned greatly. When confronted with his sin, though, his immediate reaction was to repent to God, not man. He recognized that his sin had wounded others but he knew that ultimately he was responsible before God. This was in stark contrast to the heart of Saul. Saul was the first choice for king of Israel. He was tall and handsome and the people loved him. By all outward appearances, he was the man for the job. Yet Saul never developed a relationship with the Lord. He consistently did things that were contrary to God’s instructions because he thought they were good ideas. When confronted with his sin, he felt remorse but his sole concern was that he looked good in the eyes of the people again. He never accepted the far-reaching consequences of his sin and never truly repented to God. His one objective was to obtain man’s forgiveness.

He faced difficult choices.
All leaders face the same choices that these two men did. We can either be a person after God’s own heart or we can seek to win the approval of man. We can spend time daily developing relationship with the Lord or we can go about doing things that seem right in our own eyes. When confronted with our own sin we can immediately acknowledge it and repent to God, or we can try to explain it to man. Many leaders may look good in the eyes of man but God looks on the heart. Ultimately all that we have done will be tested. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. (1 Corin. 3:12-15 NKJV)

Of all we have done in our lives, only that which originated with God will remain. Many times the circumstances of our lives serve only to test our heart. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ…(1 Peter 1:6-7 NKJV) David proved that the circumstances of life can help us grow into the leaders we are called to be.

Circumstances can make us stronger and wiser if we allow the Lord to work through them for our good. As they show us our hearts, we can press deeper into the presence of the Lord or we can defend our actions and try to look good in the eyes of man.

As 2=1 leaders you are given great opportunity to hear from God. We encourage you to continually deepen your relationship with Him, to become a leader after His own heart. There will be times when following the direction of the Lord will not be favorable with man, but when you know you are obeying the Lord, you can withstand the pressures and continue on. It is important that you understand how to be led of the Spirit under authority. God has given specific instructions regarding the Married for Life groups. He orchestrated the lessons and the structure. We have found that when we follow His instructions, great anointing flows into the lives of the couples attending. The freedom to flow in the Spirit does not come in changing the structure that God has given. Sometimes leaders rearrange the order of lessons, take more than one week to teach a lesson, teach something else other that what is written or have praise or prayer times that take up most of the evening. This is very much like what Saul did when he sacrificed the animals to God. He directly violated God’s instructions in order to do something that he thought was right.

David, by contrast, constantly examined his heart before the Lord. When he cut off the edge of Saul’s cloak to prove that he had been close enough to kill him but had not done it, he immediately realized that this was a plan of his own heart, not of God. That flowed from his abiding relationship with the Lord. His heart was sensitive to God’s desires. There is a great deal of freedom to flow in the Spirit in the groups. Group leaders and Leaders in training pray together each week for their couples. During this time the Holy Spirit will give you great revelation regarding your couples. He will give you keys to their healing and freedom. He will reveal creative answers and godly solutions to problems. This flow of the Spirit will save you many hours of frustration and confusion. When the group meets weekly, the Holy Spirit will continue to give wisdom and discernment to leadership. He will help discern heart motives and will enable leadership to break through facades and walls. And He will do all this within the structure that He himself gave to the ministry.

Human nature being what it is, it seems that inevitably the flesh seeks to pull us one of two ways-either into our own creativity (that which seems right in our own eyes) or into abdication of responsibility (just tell me what to do and then its your fault). Neither one of these is what God desires for us. When our lives and our ministry are centered around Jesus, when we draw our very life from Him, when we examine our heart in light of His Word, we will be led of the Spirit in our interaction with others. Circumstances may not always look the best in our lives, but the fruit of what we say and do will demonstrate the power of God in our lives. We can rest in the Lord. If, however, we are more concerned about what man thinks, the fruit of our lives and ministry will be based in what seems right to us. There is always a great need on the part of the flesh to defend that which it has created. We will find ourselves defending our actions to others, perhaps even telling them that God told us to do it. If we get really honest with ourselves in the presence of the Lord, though, we will find that our flesh is working very hard to prove itself right.

Leadership is not an easy calling.
It brings with it great responsibilities and the need to make tough decisions. David’s faith in the Lord carried him through the tough times and gave him rest from the burdens of leadership. Saul’s faith in himself left him lonely and defensive and eventually disqualified him from leadership. Daily we must decide where we will place our faith. God brought you into leadership because of your relationship with Him. Allow the pressures and circumstances of leadership to take you deeper and deeper into that relationship. Don’t worry about making mistakes-as long as we are human, we will make mistakes. The important thing is that you keep your heart tender before the Lord. Then, like David, you will judge what you say and do by the Lord’s standard, not man’s. You will not abdicate responsibility nor will you usurp authority. You will be a leader after God’s own heart!